Akin to giving your teenage son keys to your shiny new Ferrari, in receiving the iPhone 5S, Apple has placed its most prized asset into the hands of an absolute novice.
Borrowing that famous Top Gear spiel when guests name their car history, much to Jeremy Clarkson's disapproval, my mobile history goes something like this…
Nokia 3210, Nokia 3310, a couple of handsets I can't recall, Samsung Galaxy Gio, Windows 8 Phone.
And now, the iPhone 5S.
But before you Apple fanboys fall off your iSeats (lets face it, if Cupertino made one, you'd sit on it) in horror, consider this; not everybody has ever owned an iPhone.
Similar to the notion that not everybody gives a damn about the All Blacks, Apple hasn't yet flicked a switch in everyone. Ironically speaking, not everybody 'thinks different'.
All that aside however, over the coming months expect to read an unorthodox account of life as an iPhone newbie - for there are enough 'experienced' reviewers out there to put my ramblings to shame.
So, how the hell do you switch this thing on…? Cue heart failure among the army of iPhone users.
And what's that…? I need a new sim card…?
Not an ideal start I'll admit - but if you can tell me anyone who has excelled in not only turning something on, but getting something inserted on their first time then I'll show you a bare-faced liar.
But hey, I'm in now so let's get to business.
Branded as the most "forward-thinking" iPhone ever, the art of unlocking my device will take some beating as the standout highlight in this action-packed smartphone.
The intelligent Home button, fuelled by a Touch ID sensor, is simply mind-blowing.
In taking 30 seconds to place my finger above the 170-micron sensor, my fingerprint was fully scanned and enrolled within the device - banishing my four-digit password to the trash can.
Studies claim the average users checks their smartphone around 100 times per day, so typing in 400 numbers is a daily ritual I can frankly do without.
For speed is the name of the game and by allowing the Touch ID to read the ridges of my print and find the match to unlock my iPhone - I can save the odd milli-second here and there. Granted it doesn't seem much, more or less nothing in fact, but if Apple wants to spend every waking hour trying to make my experience that little bit easier, then that's fine by me.
So for all you tech buffs out there, here comes the Prestige.
Apple's team of biometric experts and hardware engineers redesigned the Home button to include a laser-cut sapphire crystal—one of the hardest known materials I'm told—which helps direct the field of imaging more precisely onto the 170-micron sensor.
In adding a stainless steel detect ring around the button, which detects your finger the moment you touch it, the fingerprint subsequently alerts the sensor to scan your ridges.
Touch ID then reads the ridges of your print and finds the match to unlock your iPhone and is even capable of 360-degree readability.
Okay, back to the real world folks. Touch ID also lets you enroll multiple fingerprints, knowing the people you trust too - whether it be your partner, parents or friends.
Given Touch ID is all I've mastered in the past 24 hours, I'm inclined to say so far so good for the iPhone 5S.
But with new features, tweaks and designs reaching into the hundreds, I may have to abandon this snail-paced style of reviewing for next week - after all, by the time I evaluate one highlight at a time, Tim Cook and his buddies will be introducing the iPhone 29.
Yours in New Zealand,
The iPhone 5S Virgin
P.S. Just for the record, I tried the Gold device. Damn it's cool. Unfortunately my reflection reminded me that I am in fact not, so Space Gray it is.
Have you got your hands on the new iPhone 5S yet? If so, tell us your first impressions in the comments below